


burgers and fries

by call_me_steve



Category: The Hollow (Cartoon)
Genre: Bisexual Kai (The Hollow), Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Gay Adam (The Hollow), Getting Together, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Neglect, Kissing, M/M, Minecraft, Pining, Post-Season/Series 02, Slice of Life, Texting, but basically it's just a day out, headcanons, mentions of kai's parents, technically you can see this as a character study, they play mc ok
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-17
Updated: 2020-06-17
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:35:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,257
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24776263
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/call_me_steve/pseuds/call_me_steve
Summary: Kai's not having the best day, so far. He'd woken up because of a nightmare he can't remember, his parents are coming home, and to top it all off, he'd run off to hide in the bathroom while out to lunch with all of his friends. But, through it all, Adam's there with him. For that, Kai couldn't be anymore thankful.(Or, Kai and Adam get together, but it takes a while before it happens.)
Relationships: Adam/Kai (The Hollow)
Comments: 15
Kudos: 171





	burgers and fries

**Author's Note:**

> hello!! welcome to my first hollow fanfic sdkgh i'm mostly getting a feel for the characters, but i hope that it turned out good
> 
> alternatively titled: _this is it_
> 
> check out my tumblr: [potato-reblob](https://potato-reblob.tumblr.com/)

Kai shoves himself to his feet, heart pounding in his chest. 

He hardly even notices that his hands are ablaze, still gripping tightly at his sheets- though they miraculously _don’t_ catch on fire. (He’s starting to suspect that more and more of his things are being switched out for fire-proof alternatives.) It takes him a moment- of which he spends heaving, chest rising and falling rapidly- to awkwardly let his sheets drop onto the floor. He swallows his breath before trying to correct them, mouthing _one-two-three one-two-three_ as he goes. 

Once he’s semi-calm, Kai moves his mind into auto-pilot. It’s like that that he re-makes his bed, corners tight and not a wrinkle in sight, and it’s like _that_ that he undresses and pushes himself into the shower. 

He gets dressed- and by dressed, he means as in ‘wearing the same outfit he’ll probably be wearing for the rest of his life’, because the game’s attention to detail is oddly selective with it’s programming. While he _can_ pull the occasional outfit swap, like when he’s off to sleep or going to a party, he’s more often than not stuck in the same outfit. The only variation in this outfit, today, is that his blue and white baseball shirt has its sleeves rolled up to his elbows- rather than just _ending_ there. He also exchanges his boots for regular sneakers, hoping to capture the feeling of _change._

It’s a new day. He’s sick of it feeling like the same one, over and over and over. 

With his shoes on, he finally blinks back to himself. Kai knows he’d had a nightmare, though he can’t remember what it was about. It’s safe to rule out any giant chickens and the like, because he _always_ remembers those dreams. Though, it’s not the _first_ time he’s ever had a night terror he can’t recall. He’s had plenty of them over the years- even if their frequency has increased ever since the end of the Hollow and its aftermath. 

The only thing he does about the nightmare is to make a note to ask Adam and Mira if they’re having the same problem. Maybe they’ve been experiencing something similar, at least. Or, maybe they hadn’t. 

Maybe Kai’s just going through the motions. 

Sometimes- to Kai- it feels like he’s the only one who’s still affected by what they went through. There’s times where he’ll see one of the others flinch at a reminder of the game- like when Mira had come across a snail while walking through the park, or when Adam had spent a few days without any contact with Kai, Mira, or their other friends. Other than grimaces, though, the rest of Kai’s friends seem oddly okay with blending into their new life. 

Kai doesn’t think he is- it all feels so wrong, no matter how _familiar_ it might seem.

He hears his phone buzz on the bedside table. He moves to scoop it up, sliding the screen open to see a text from Adam. He’s asking Kai to join him and the others out for lunch- everyone’s supposed to pay for themselves.

Against his wishes, Kai’s heart flutters at the invitation. He has honest-to-God friends, who want to hang out with _him._ And, it’s not even for his riches, like it had been with Mira’s younger brother. They all want him around even after all of the times that he’d almost gotten them killed-

Kai shuts that train of thought down before it can sour his mood. He shoots off a quick ‘ok!’ and hopes that it’s the right response. 

Adam’s reply says something about bowling after, but he explains that nothing’s definite yet. While there’s plenty of places programmed into the Hollow Life servers, they don’t really visit many besides the bowling alley. The pool is- mostly- off limits. Mira likes to go there, but it always reminds Kai of being stranded on a melting chunk of ice- _for Adam, you need to get him help, Adam has to survive, Mira,_ please, _just go!-_ or of a sea monster ready to eat him for a midnight snack. Besides, he _does_ have a pool at his house, if they ever _do_ want to go swimming. He’s invited Mira and Adam over plenty of times to use it.

Each time he does, Mira always grins and says, “There’s no crowds!” She then proceeds to spend hours at the bottom of his pool, despite the chlorine, without having to worry about lifeguards coming after her because they thought that she’d drowned. 

(Each time he does, his heart freezes in his chest. He thinks, for a moment: _They only care about what I have, not who I am._ But, each time, he’s proven wrong over and over. Adam and Mira like him for who he is deep down. They’ve even proven it time and time again.) 

Kai ducks down the stairs once he’s slipped his wallet into his pocket. Practice- and habit- keeps him deathly silent until he takes count of the coats hanging by the door. There’s only his on the rack. 

Walking louder now, Kai cups his hands around his mouth and calls out for Davis. The butler appears around the corner, dutifully. “Yes, sir?” he asks, a twinkle in his eyes. 

It kind of hurts to know that- while in the game, their relationship has progressed to friendship- their relationship in real life is still only employer and employee. Davis- in _every_ world- is an amazing person, and Kai can only hope that his real-life self will get his head out of his ass, and let their relationship progress. 

“I’m gonna go out with some of my friends,” Kai tells him, shifting his weight to his other leg. “I’m meeting Adam and Mira for lunch.” 

Kai doesn’t miss Davis’ little smile, even though he tries to hide it by stepping out of view for a moment. When he comes back, moving towards Kai’s side, he asks, “Will you require a ride, sir?” 

Politely, Kai shakes his head. “No- thank you, though. It’s kind of nice outside, so I think I’ll walk.” 

“Splendid,” Davis remarks, warmly. He grabs Kai’s coat and checks to make sure he has both his wallet and his phone- _Is it fully charged? Very good-_ before moving to pull open the door. A smile blooms over Kai’s face. He’s so _lucky_ to have Davis in his life. 

Before he can skip out the door, Davis leans in close, settling a hand on his shoulder. “By the time you return, I suspect your _parents_ might just be home, as well.” 

No matter how soft Davis had said it, in an attempt to also soften the blow, Kai still goes full stop. It’s only then that he notices Davis’ suitcases neatly piled by the door. His family doesn’t normally employ Davis while all of them are home, so they always send him off with a paid vacation for the few days they plan to stay at the mansion. When it’s time for them to take off again, they call him back. The thought of his parents actually coming back home sends a chill up his spine- Kai hasn’t seen them since before the Hollow. 

Quietly, Kai replies, “Okay.” 

Then, on full-auto pilot, he steps out the door and starts down their long, winding driveway.

The relationship between Kai and his parents- and between his mom and dad- is just another thing that sets him apart from all of his friends. Besides- possibly- Vanessa, everyone else is on relatively good terms with their parents. Mira always says that her dads are a little strict, and Adam claims his mother is a stickler for order and having Adam religiously clean his room- and his _dad_ is a stickler for good grades, and the like- but they both love their parents. Their parents love them back. 

(Kai doesn’t know about Reeve’s home life, and he’s not about to assume.) 

But, that’s another thing. Adam and Mira- (and Vanessa and Reeve)- know about Kai’s parents. They know that they both fight- though they don’t exactly know the _extent_ of it. Up until now, all of them had only assumed that Kai’s parents weren’t even programmed into the servers. Adam had said while they talked about it, “They’d have to program them with more dialogue than they did for our families. Even with how solid the codes _are,_ I still catch Mom repeating the same line every once in a while, or Dad will reassign the same essay twice in a week.” 

After hearing that, Kai had shut him down by claiming that most of his parents' arguments went down the same way, regardless. Even in real life, it sometimes felt as if the days looped over and over, whenever his mom and dad were home. 

“We’ll just have to wait and see,” Mira had said. “If they _haven’t_ been programmed, you can move in with one of us!” 

When that conversation had ended, Mira and Adam had done one of their weird three-second-eye-contact-conversation things- and, oh, how much Kai wanted to be able to be a part of that too. _He_ wanted to be able to hold an entire conversation with Adam in one look- and Mira. And _also_ with Mira.

Haha.

Originally, Kai had thought that they could do that because they were dating. Then, Adam had told Kai that he was gay, and Mira had- however offhandedly- said that girls were okay, sometimes. Though, after Skeet, it didn’t seem like Mira was into the dating scene.

Even with Kai’s mid-game crush on Mira, and his short-lived one on Vanessa, Adam’s words had made his heart do a flip in his chest. Kai had _thought_ it was because Adam trusted him enough to tell him, but his heart obviously knew otherwise. That was neither here nor there though- it wasn’t as if Kai was going to act on his feelings anytime soon. He was only just coming to terms with the fact that he has a _crush_ on his close- and relatively new- friend. (He’s also coming to terms with how said friend is a _boy,_ not a girl.) 

Kai breathes hard through his nose and works to shove that thought down. Making things weird between him and Adam is the _last_ thing he wants to do.

His phone buzzes again. The thought of it possibly being his parents makes him want to ignore it, but he picks it up regardless. It’s another text from Adam, saying that if he needs a ride, Reeve’s driving. 

Despite how bad taking advantage of the opportunity feels, the want for company is stronger. Kai texts back with his location, a smiley face, and a thanks. 

**Adam** _11:23 a.m._

**its ok, reeve says he doesnt mind**

The fact that Adam had replied to the worries in Kai’s _head_ rather than the text he sent out makes his heart flutter again. It’s honestly so stupid how such a little thing can make him so happy- _God,_ he’s so lucky to have friends like Adam, too.

It crosses his mind- and not for the first time- to imagine how his life could be if he hadn’t been chosen to work with Adam and Mira in the Hollow. It’s not something he _likes_ to dwell on- he knows that he wouldn’t be nearly as happy living in his old life, as he is now. He’s not a loner anymore. He has so many people who love and care for him, and so many people that _he_ loves and cares for _back._

Adam gives him an expected arrival time, and Reeve shows up a few minutes before it. As soon as Kai sees the car- driver’s window pushed all the way down, so Reeve can wave at him- he knows that it’s got to be Reeve’s parents. There’s stickers along the back windows with Reeve’s jersey numbers for the sports that he plays, and a few others that Kai doesn’t have time to look at. He hops into the backseat to see Mira sitting in the passenger seat, fixing it so that she can give Kai a bit more leg room. It’s not like he needs much, though. He’s shorter than Adam and Reeve by a lot, in-game. (He could’ve sworn that in real life, he hadn’t been so short, though.) 

“Vanessa says she’ll meet us there,” says Reeve, before he reminds everyone about wearing their seatbelts. Kai’s quick to do so, pointedly not looking at Adam, who’d clicked off his phone the moment Kai had shut his door. 

Of course, Kai fails. He shoots a glance over to Adam and Adam catches it. Quickly, Kai returns his gaze up front. 

“Hey,” Adam greets. “I thought for sure that Davis would be driving you.” 

Whenever Kai’s friends refer to Davis by his name, rather than ‘the butler’, it always makes Kai want to do a little happy dance. Davis is important- he’s hardly just Kai’s butler. He’s _so_ much more! In fact, Kai’s pretty confident when he says that Davis raised him. 

Mostly raised him, anyhow.

“He- uh- He offered!” Kai says, cursing himself for the stumble. “But he’s going on vacation, because-” _-shut up, mouth, shut up-_ “-yeah.” 

Kai laughs nervously. He’s a little afraid that Adam’s going to comment on it, but his brows only furrow as he says, “Huh.” Adam turns his phone back on and types something out quickly, before looking back to Kai. “Sorry- So, you’re going to be alone in the house until he gets back, right?” 

Kai _wishes_ he were. 

“If you do,” Mira calls, from the front, “we can do a sleepover at Adam’s house! The four of us- _five,_ if Vanessa decides to join too- can do a movie night or something!” She twists to peer into the backseat, and takes a peek at the floor where Kai’s feet are, to see if he has enough room. Both Adam and Reeve tell her to sit forward, and she replies by snarking back, “ We survived a badass car chase- We’ll be fine. We’re going less than forty-five miles an hour.” 

Once that topic drops, Reeve denies the invitation to the sleepover. “It’ll only be the three of you,” he says. “I’ve got plans tonight.” 

Mira’s phone buzzes, and as she texts back a response, she makes a face. “You’ve got a date?” Once she supposedly sends it, Adam’s phone buzzes in turn. 

While Reeve responds, Kai realizes that Adam and Mira are texting each other, even when they’re both in the same car. (For a moment, he also thinks that Reeve’s only denying the offer so he doesn’t have to hang out with him.) Whatever the two are talking about, it’s obvious that they don’t want Kai hearing it. 

That thought makes Kai squirm in his seat. 

But- _right._ He hasn’t answered the question himself. “I’d _like_ to do a sleepover,” he admits, “but I’m- I’m not too sure that I _can.”_

Adam looks up, mid-text to Mira. “Why not?”

Exactly three seconds later- three whole seconds of eye contact, which sends Kai reeling- Adam’s face contorts in realization. Reeve peaks at the rear-view mirror hanging over the dash so he can look back at them. Mira peers around her seat again, also understanding. 

“Your parents-” 

The car slams to a stop, abruptly. Reeve slaps his hand down onto his steering wheel and sets off the horn as Mira violently rocks in her seat. “C’mon!” Reeve shouts. Mira coughs, and tugs at her seatbelt, which had locked up on her. “Watch where you’re _going,_ man!” 

Kai shifts to get a better look out of the windshield, heart pounding. He catches the tail-end of a car speeding by before them, having run the red light on their side of the cross-road. Reeve had had the green light, but if he hadn’t stopped, he would’ve slammed right into the other car. It was a close call- it sends the memory of their car crash from when they were trying to stop the other team shaking its way through Kai’s body.

Briefly, he wonders if anyone _else_ is remembering it, too.

“You’d _think_ they’d program the game to not have _accidents!”_ Reeve seethes, as a car honks behind them. He moves the car forward, gaining speed as he passes the light. His grip is tight around the steering wheel. Maybe he _did_ remember it. 

“It’s supposed to mimic real life,” Kai hears himself say. When Reeve glares at him through the rearview mirror, Kai clicks his mouth shut.

Adam restlessly twists in his seat, glancing behind them. “Reeve’s _right_ though- Everything we’ve seen so far- it’s all been mostly peaceful. This is the first road-problem I’ve seen since we got here. So- why would a car suddenly start _speeding?”_

Kai slides down in his seat, as Mira says, “You think that the car isn’t a part of Hollow Life?” 

That’s not really something Kai wants to deal with- as thrilling as the Hollow and its subsequent adventure for survival _was,_ there were _far_ too many close calls. And- And _Skeet-_

After everything that happened- everything they _went_ through- all Kai wants is to rest. He wants to be able to live his life without knowing that the fate of his friend’s lives is in his hands. He wants to be able to _not_ worry about if he’s good enough to save them, or if he’s going to fall short and get them all killed. Though, a part of him knows that he’d rather play superhero than be at home with his mom and dad, any day of the week. When he’s using his powers, _Kai’s_ the one in control. He can solve the problem- but when he’s at home, all he can do is watch from the sidelines.

Kai looks down at his hands, and imagines fire dancing along his fingertips. As he summons a tiny flame in his palm, he mutters, “Just leave it for the cops to deal with.” 

“I don’t think there _are_ cops in Hollow Life,” Adam replies. 

This time, it’s Kai’s phone that buzzes. With a stomach full of dread, he looks at the notification-

It’s from _Adam._

Surprised, Kai snuffs out the flickering light in his palm by closing his fist. He looks up to Adam, to see him looking back with a worried smile. He flashes his blank phone screen at Kai, telling him to reply to his text.

 **Adam** _11:47 a.m._

**r u ok?**

Kai responds with a shrug, instead of texting a response back. Maybe, if he doesn’t respond, Adam will drop it. 

As it turns out, Adam _doesn’t._

 **Adam** _11:47 a.m._

**srsly kai, whats wrong? is it ur parents?**

Knowing that Adam’s not going to drop the topic- and knowing that Adam actually _cares-_ makes Kai’s heart do that flutter-thing again. Still, this isn’t a conversation that Kai wants to have. He’s ruining the good time for everyone before it even starts.

 **Kai** _11:48 a.m._

**im ok**

Adam gives him an incredulous look. 

**Adam** _11:48 a.m._

**if u dont tell me smthing, ill tell mira**

Compared to Adam, Mira’s approach always feels more like a barrage. She won’t let the topic drop- or let it go for even a second- until Kai cracks and admits the problem out loud. It’s not Kai’s preferred method of helping someone out, especially when that someone is _him._ He’s got to admit that it _works,_ though. Still, Adam knows as well as Kai does- Kai would rather take Adam’s more subtler way than Mira’s.

Don’t get him wrong- Kai really likes Mira! With his memories back, she’s like the older sister Kai’s never going to have.

 **Kai** _11:50 a.m._

**davis is on vacation b/c my parents r coming home tnite. not sure how excited i am to hear them argue again,, i dont think im getting any sleep tonight :(**

As he texts, he keeps his gaze on his phone screen, resolutely _not_ looking over at Adam. Hopefully, his response is forward enough to get him to stop _digging-_ He doesn’t want to think about that nightmare he can’t even remember, or the lingering memories from the Hollow and the aftermath. Honestly, Kai doesn’t want to think about _any_ of his problems- his parents included.

 **Adam** _11:51 a.m._

**p sure thats not all of it, but good start! :) if u dont want to go home, y not come over after lunch?**

Since _when_ could Adam read Kai like a book?

Before Kai gets the chance to text back, Reeve pulls up to their destination. It’s a little dinner towards the outskirts of town, popular amongst the kids at their school. As all of them filter out of the car, Kai ponders the pros and cons of skipping out on going home. He doubts his parents will even notice if he doesn’t return- Hell, they won’t even notice he’s _gone_ until he walks through the front door. But, on the off chance they _do_ realize he’s not at home, he’ll be in big trouble.

Kai waits until they’re inside and waiting for a table to text back. 

**Kai** _11:57 a.m._

**i dont werngt them to gert mda**

Realizing how bad he butchered ‘want’ and ‘get mad’, he quickly sends off another text to correct his mistake. He doesn’t escape getting mocked, as Adam is quick to attempt to pronounce Kai’s spelling errors out loud. 

Not for the first time, Kai thinks about turning autocorrect back on. Then, he remembers his mistakes from back when he _did_ have it on- thing turned to ‘thong’, and other awful stuff- and ultimately decides against it.

He gets Adam’s next text when they’re all sitting down in their booth.

 **Adam** _12:08 p.m._

**u think theyd be mda ur gone?**

Kai’s face screws up playfully when he sees Adam’s continued mocking, but when Mira chides them for having their phones out while they’re all sitting down, Kai slaps his phone- screen down- onto the table. He feels like a kid who just got caught with their hand in the cookie jar. 

He only realizes that Mira was joking when Adam doesn’t put down his phone. Instead, Adam sends text after text to both Mira and Kai- possibly to Reeve, too, but Reeve always keeps his phone on silent. If Kai’s being honest, he’d think he’d have a mental breakdown if he did that. He knows that some people find it annoying to have your ringer on all the time, but at this point, it’s an ingrained response for him. He always replies to his messages as soon as he possibly can- though it’s a habit he’s breaking out of when it comes to Mira and Adam. (Not so much Vanessa, yet, and Reeve doesn’t text Kai all that much anyway.) 

But, on the rare occasions that Kai’s parents text him, he’s quick to reply, no matter _what_ it is that he’s doing- or no matter how much dread it dredges up. 

Mira laughs, and chucks a crumpled up napkin at Adam’s head. Kai takes this as his chance to peek at his phone, only to find that Adam had sent the alphabet to him three times over. He even made it all the way up to number forty-seven before Mira intervened. 

Once Kai slips his phone into his pocket, secretly grateful to not have to continue his conversation with Adam anymore, Vanessa slides into the booth across from him. She forces Reeve and Mira to scoot closer to the windows, where the blinds are pulled down. Reeve pretends to look miserable between the two girls, as Vanessa places her elbow on the table and loudly chews her gum. It’s all mostly for show- Vanessa’s plenty nicer than she used to be, at the beginning of the Hollow.

Being alone with her always brings around memories of _falling, falling, falling._

For a moment, Kai looks at Reeve, taking in the subtle lift of his brows and the dip of his lips. There’s a twinkle in his eye that says he’s happy to be here, in between Mira and Vanessa. 

He’s the oldest of the group- over a year older than Kai himself- and he’s the only one of them who can drive others around. Vanessa’s only months away from being able too, and after her, Adam’s going to have his license. He’s already expressed his distaste for it, though. Both of them- Adam and Reeve- are athletes, and while they’re both partial to track, Reeve can throw a mean football. He’s good at baseball- both pitching _and_ batting- and basketball. Actually, now that Kai thinks about it, Adam and Reeve are freakishly good at literally every sport that the school offers, including golf. 

Except for frisbee, oddly enough. Reeve can’t throw a frisbee to save his life. 

When Kai had first realized his attraction towards boys- towards basically only Adam- he’d taken Reeve into consideration, so he could figure out what his feelings towards the same sex really _were._ (It was also because, at the time, he was the only other boy around, besides Skeet.)

(It hurts to think about Skeet.)

Kai doesn’t know _what_ Reeve’s sexuality is, but Kai knows enough to realize that anyone would be silly _not_ to agree- Reeve’s a handsome person. He’s tall and has a nice jawline, and despite how stand-offish he can appear, he’s a very cool person once you get to know him. Kai _had_ thought he was intimidating at first, especially with how he (firstly) didn’t seem to like Kai, and then (secondly) was always arguing with Adam, but Kai knows that’s all in the past. 

Now, Kai knows he shares no romantic feelings for Reeve. He only has them for Adam, even if there _was_ a brief shining moment where he thought: _Maybe he’s the one. Maybe I like_ him _too._

That’s only more evidence to show how _foolish_ Kai is- and how easily he falls in love. Well, okay. Falls in ‘like’. He isn’t in love with anyone yet- though he’ll admit he loves his friends platonically. 

But- What _is_ it that Adam has, that Reeve doesn’t? Was he taking Adam and his relationship out of context? Was he misinterpreting his feelings- the kindness that Adam’s given him- to be something more than what _might_ only be friendship?

Or, where Kai’s feelings right? His heart skipped a beat every time he saw Adam smile. He felt like he was _dying_ whenever Adam got hurt- when they’d jumped through the portal hand-in-hand, Kai _swore_ he forgot how to breathe.

If he really _does_ like Adam- if this really _is_ a crush- he’s an absolute fool not to realize why. Besides Adam’s good looks and his- frankly- _awesome,_ if not somewhat brash at times, personality, their relationship has been built of a thousand different moments and a million little glimpses that Kai couldn’t _possibly_ trade for.

 _(Very cool, Kai_ likes to ring in his head like a melody.) 

Reeve catches Kai staring at him, tearing Kai violently from his thoughts. Kai nearly jumps out of his seat at the sudden flood of embarrassment, a vibrant blush creeping down from the tips of his ears, over his nose, and down his neck. Far too quickly, Kai averts his gaze downwards, before gently kicking at Adam’s leg under the table.

“I’m going to the bathroom-” 

Life _really_ seems to be out for Kai today- at least, Hollow Life is- because their waitress appears, locking Kai into the booth. Reeve’s still looking at Kai oddly, and Mira’s noticed Kai’s red face. Once Vanessa and Adam are done ordering, they’ll notice it _too-_

Vanessa orders after Adam, ordering some sort of soda. Kai can’t hear what she says, because there’s a ringing in his ears and a rushing in his veins. Vanessa’s side of the table finishes, and the waitress points her pen in Kai’s direction. 

“And for you?” Kai imagines her saying, sweetly. 

She looks like Nisha- _fire spewing from her hands, that’s not_ possible- even though her name tag reads _Andi S._ Kai knows he hasn’t even seen her before, but her long black hair, olive skin, thick lashes- Kai can’t shake the thought away, and for a moment, he thinks about summoning flames at his fingertips, in case he’s back in the game- maybe he imagined going through the portal-

As Kai continues to stare at her, his world shrinking down, his friends all turn to look at _him._

Kai’s throat feels dry. His face feels hot. His body feels like it’s about to spontaneously combust. 

“Can we get a raspberry lemonade for him, please?” Adam finally asks. His hand moves under the table to place on Kai’s knee, as the waitress nods and takes off, tucking her pen into her apron. She says she’ll come back when they’re ready to order their food. Kai doesn’t look down at the menu before him, though. He only stands up in the booth and nearly crawls over Adam in his haste to get out.

When Adam realizes where Kai’s going, he’s quick to move when prompted. Kai’s free to scurry off to the bathroom, almost getting turned around as he does.

Miraculously, the entire bathroom is empty. There’s no one in the stalls, or at the urinal. As Kai passes the sinks, he thinks about dunking his face in the cold water, but instead beelines for the stalls. He locks himself in the furthest one, awkwardly folding himself up to perch on top of the toilet. 

To no-one, he utters, “You’re losing it, Kai.” 

Again, his phone buzzes. He pulls it out of his pocket on auto-pilot, to see another text from Adam flashing on the screen. It’s only a single letter- a lowercase ‘a’.

To calm himself down, Kai sends off a lowercase ‘b’ in turn. From there, they go back and forth. By the time they get to ‘q’, though, the bathroom door opens. Adam’s white sneakers appear through the crack below the stall door. Kai presses send on his ‘r’ text, to which he hears Adam’s phone buzz. 

**Adam** _12:26 p.m._

**s**

**Kai** _12:26 p.m._

**t**

**Adam** _12:26 p.m._

**u ok?**

**Kai** _12: 27 p.m._

**v much so**

It’s a lie, and both of them know it.

 **Adam** _12:27 p.m._

**well,,, r u coming bck to the table?**

Kai doesn’t know what response he can send that starts with ‘x’, since they’re still indirectly continuing the alphabet, so he just sends ‘xaybe’ instead of ‘maybe’ and hopes it’s good enough. He hears Adam laugh from the other side of the door, and considers it a win.

Out-loud, Adam says, “Very funny, Kai,” in the same way he’d said _Very cool, Kai,_ all that time ago. His _text,_ however, says something way different.

 **Adam** _12:29 p.m._

**you’re cute :)**

Kai’s entire brain chooses that moment to flat-line. He can’t even send out the last letter, as his blush returns full-force. His ears are completely red, and scalding to the touch. “You can’t just _text_ things like that, dude!” he half-shrieks, mindful of his volume. He clicks his phone off and shoves it into his pocket so he can, instead, put his head in his hands.

He’s pretty sure that Adam only said it as a joke, but Kai’s response feels all too real. His heart is thudding so loudly in his chest, he’s sure that Adam can hear it too. Him, and everyone in the entire _restaurant._ They can all hear it go _thumpthumpthump_ all the way home.

Innocently, Adam asks, “Why not?”

Though his own words are muffled by his hands, Kai manages to reply, “If you _do,_ people will think you _mean it!”_

The bathroom falls silent.

 _Stupid- I shouldn’t have said that,_ Kai thinks. _I should’ve just kept my big, stupid mouth shut and I should’ve never asked for a ride, and I should’ve just stayed at home like a good boy-_

“What if I _do_ mean it?” comes Adam’s answer, quiet and out-of-character. 

The way he whispers it makes it sound so sincere that Kai almost wants to break down into tears. He presses the heels of his hands harder into his eyes, doing his best _not_ to do that. He’s only ever really cried in front of Adam once, the entire time they’ve known each other, and he’s not keen on doing it again.

Kai’s phone alerts him to another text. It’s probably from Adam- though it buzzes twice- so he ignores the voice in his head and ignores the _notification_ on his screen.

“You can’t mean it,” Kai says, feeling ten _trillion_ times more stupid than before. “If you mean it, then I-” 

If Adam means it, Kai’s heart will stop pounding in his chest, and will _instead_ put him into cardiac arrest, because there’s absolutely no way that Adam means it as anything more than a silly joke between friends- a nice comment between bros. 

“Then you?” Adam prompts.

Kai’s heart does that funny, little flip again. He’s not laughing. “We’re just-” 

“Just-?” 

“The two of us- we’re just _friends,_ right?” 

His words come out quieter than he’d meant for them too, but there’s no way to correct his mistake. He knows that Adam’s heard them anyway, so all he can do is wait for his crushing reply, telling Kai that he’s right.

“Well,” says Adam, instead, “I _do_ think you’re cute. Do friends normally think that about their other friends?” 

It’s not like _Kai_ would know. These are the only friends he’s ever really had- and he’s ruining their outing like he feared he would, by hiding out in the bathroom of all places. To think that he’d left his house this morning with the intention of not making anyone worry about him- in regards to his parents- and of not making things weird between Adam and him- in regards to his _stupid_ crush on him. 

It’s hardly past noon, and he’s messed up _both_ of them.

In the end, Kai never responds to Adam. 

Adam sighs, and as Kai watches through the crack below the door, he can see Adam sit down on the ground. His back’s against the bathroom stall. At first, all Kai can think is _nasty, nasty, ew, ew, ew,_ but then he thinks: _Adam’s doing this for me, isn’t he?_

“I’m sorry if I’m messing this up,” Adam says, and-

Wait, _what?_

Why would Adam be messing this up? Kai’s the one about to cry in the _bathroom-_

Adam knocks on the stall twice, as Kai sputters, “What do you mean _you’re_ messing this up?” 

Matter-of-factly, Adam returns, “You don’t know what I’m trying to say, do you.” 

Honestly, Kai doesn’t. His brain has already been turned to mush by the events of the past hour, and his heart’s been turned to putty trying to comprehend just what Adam was trying to say by texting him ‘you’re cute’. Along with that, Kai’s pretty sure his _nerves_ are shot from his earlier bout of embarrassment. 

So, when Adam continues on to ask, “Can you open up the door?”, Kai returns with a quick and curt, “No.” 

He hears Adam shift, and if he hadn’t known any better, he’d almost call it _awkwardly._ That makes him perk up a little bit more- Adam’s never been awkward. He’s dorky when it comes it his jokes, but he’s the total opposite of awkward and clumsy. By all means, it’s easiest to just say that he’s the total opposite of _Kai._

“Okay,” Adam says. “Can I tell you something?” 

A light feeling erupts in Kai’s chest. Each time one of his friends trusts him with something, he revels in the feeling of being helpful and of being needed. Now is one of those times, and if Kai hadn’t been hiding away in the damn _bathroom,_ he’d be on his feet, ready to tell Adam, _“Always.”_

This time, because he _is_ hiding in the bathroom, Kai just gives a quiet affirmative.

There’s another rapid buzz of his phone. Kai gets the feeling that it’s not Adam texting him, anymore. Whatever Adam’s about to say feels far too fragile, like it’ll crumble when said aloud, or shatter if sent over text. 

Kai doesn’t reach for his phone.

He sucks in a deep breath and waits for Adam’s words, wondering what in the world they could be. A confession about something from the Hollow? A worry from their frightening adventure after that? Maybe it’s a theory about the speeding car and about how they’re still in danger. It’s possible that whatever it is could also be worlds simpler, like a quick, _I’m worried about you._ Adam sounds to be in no hurry to say what he wants to. Is it too much to put into words? Or, was Kai right to assume they felt as fragile as glass?

Softly, Kai asks, “Adam?” 

He crawls down from his perch to settle his back against the stall door, sitting down across from Adam. _Gross,_ he thinks, as he crosses his legs criss-cross-applesauce style beneath him. He’s well aware of the lack of space between their hands, both resting on the cool tiles. When he’s situated, he leans his head back against the door, shutting his eyes. He’ll give Adam as much time as he needs- this is obviously something important to him. 

Besides, this is _Kai’s_ way of helping other people with their problems. When he’s not too busy pushing them away, he wants _them_ to decide when they’re ready. He lets them decide when and where and how- (As horrible as it sounds, he waits for them to come to _him-_ waits for them to decide that he’s the best person to help them out.)

Amidst the silence, his phone calls out, _Buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz!_

Adam’s hand shifts.

Their fingers are touching.

Kai’s heart jump-starts.

“I think-” Adam starts. “I think I-” 

The door to the bathroom swings open. Despite it’s heavy weight, it collides with the wall, making Kai wince. Whoever opened it hisses at the sound, before there’s a pause. 

“What the _hell_ are you two doing?” says Reeve’s voice. 

Just as quickly as Adam- though far less smooth- Kai clambers to his feet. When Adam pulls back from the door in order to find an excuse to give Reeve, Kai swings it open and rushes for the sinks. Avoiding eye contact, Kai washes his hands and splashes cold water on his face, hoping to quell the burning of his cheeks. 

When Kai returns to Adam’s side, Reeve gives him a look that he can’t decipher. “Mira had to order for the two of you,” he grunts, “so you’d better hope that she got them right.” 

He shoves them out of the bathroom and towards their booth, waiting until they slide into place before he does the same. Kai goes first, and as Adam takes his own seat, he slides out his phone. As it turns out, Kai had missed more than five texts, all from various people. Reeve was the only one not to text Kai, but Kai’s sure that it’s because he’d texted Adam instead.

 **Mira** _12:37 p.m._

**Get your asses back here so you can order!! >:(**

**Vanessa** _12:32 p.m._

**????????**

**where did u two go**

Kai notices that Vanessa’s staring at him like she’s trying to either dissect his brain, or like she’s trying to set him on fire. He can’t tell which one, but he ducks his head down to avoid her gaze anyway.

The other multitude of texts are enough to make his stomach churn. If he clicks on them, he’ll probably have to return to the bathroom, so that he can throw up that lunch he hasn’t had yet. Still, he clicks on Davis’ message- one that lets him know he’s headed for the airport. Even if Kai’s ingrained habit is to reply promptly, the only text he answers is Davis’. He ignores every other one. He hates himself for it.

At least the waitress dishes out their meals, not too long after they return.

Mira- as it turns out- had gotten both Adam and Kai burgers. They’re real meat, rather than Mira’s preferred veggie ones. Kai even got a plate of boneless buffalo wings just for himself, even if he’s sure he’ll end up sharing it. Adam and Kai both have a single joint plate of fries, which Adam is quick to add ketchup to. 

Reeve has some sort of ribs on his plate, while Vanessa only has a salad- she claims that she’d eaten before coming. Mira and Reeve have a shared plate of fries too, which Vanessa keeps stealing from. For her meal, Mira had ordered something from the breakfast menu- hash browns, pancakes, and blueberry syrup.

“It’s still early enough to count as brunch,” she says, when she catches Kai looking at her plate. Then, she turns to Adam, gesturing with her fork. “If we _do_ go to your house, I really want some of your mom’s waffles again.” 

“She’s been making them non-stop,” Adam replies, all of his earlier awkwardness gone, “so I don’t think it’ll be too hard to get them.” 

Mira silently pumps her fist.

“Oh!” she continues, a moment later. She peers around Reeve so she can look at Vanessa. “We’re probably going to do a sleepover tonight. Do you want in?” 

Vanessa shakes her head, ponytail bobbing. It’s rare that she ever puts it up in the first place, but Kai will admit, she _does_ look pretty. “No way,” she says, without heat. “I think I’ll pass.” 

“Do you have plans too?” 

“Not really-” 

Kai digs into his wings, a few bites after starting his burger. Adam’s already stolen two of them, and Reeve’s ready to claim a third one for himself. Even Vanessa has snatched one up. 

He listens as his friends start up a new conversation about the possibility of returning to school- “Do we _really_ need to, at this point?” Adam asks- and he thinks about going home. 

He doesn’t really want to, anymore.

Based on the flurry of texts on his phone, it’s safe to say that his parents are unbelievably pissed off at him. He’ll be the topic of their argument tonight, which means he won’t be able to sneak off and hide up in his room. He’ll have to deal with an entire night of back-and-forth and of overwhelming panic- and that’s not his ideal form of a ‘fun night’. Maybe he _should_ take Adam and Mira up on their offer. It’ll get him in a whole lot more trouble, like he’d said, since his parents oddly know that he’s gone. 

All of them finish up their meals rather quickly. Adam finishes both plates of fries and, when Kai slides over half his burger, Adam finishes that, too. The waitress pops over with their bill, and while Kai attempts to get everyone to let him pay it, Mira asks the waitress to give them all individual ones. 

It’s only further proof towards the fact that his friends don’t want him for his wealth. While part of him is grateful- and happy- for that, the other part of him is frustrated that they won’t let him pay. He _has_ the money, so why can’t he just do this one nice thing in return-?

Vanessa joins them on the ride home. She claims the passenger seat and leaves Kai squished between Adam and Mira, since he’s the smallest of the three. His arm is pressed up against Adam’s, his ankles crossed up with Mira’s, because she’d been kind enough to offer her side of the car for Kai’s feet. Adam looks cramped enough in his spot behind Reeve. 

For a bit, they only sit there in the parking lot as Mira attempts to sway everyone into going bowling, like Adam had originally suggested. As it turns out, Reeve had only brought enough money for gas and for lunch.

“Neither did I,” Vanessa says, as she pulls her seat up as far as it’ll go, in order to give Mira and Kai more space. She’s the smallest out of everyone in the group, so it’s not like she really needs it. On accident, though, the chair pushes back and Kai can’t hold back his shout as it runs over his foot. A little self-consciously, Vanessa fixes the problem and says, “Sorry.” 

Before Kai can burst in and tell everyone he’ll pay for their bowling trip, if they want to go, the group agrees to save it for next time. Decision made, Reeve pulls out of the parking lot and turns in the direction of Vanessa’s house, since it’s on the opposite side of town.

Kai knows that he has to make a decision of his own, now. He can go home to his parents, or he can go over to Adam’s. He can spend a sleepless night listening to his parents alternate between yelling at him and tearing into each other, or he can spend it laughing with Mira and figuring out what’s wrong with Adam. 

Sometimes, Kai can be more impulsive than careful. That’s how he was without his memories during the Hollow. That’s how it went when they had to pick between the three doors. This time, it’s no different. He has two doors to pick from, rather than three. He knows what’s behind each one.

He picks up his phone, very pointedly not reading the above texts as he clicks on his dad’s contact. His dad is- normally- more level-headed and calm, even if it’s hardly by much. 

**Kai** _1:03 p.m._

 **I’m out with friends. I won’t be back until tomorrow. Love you.** ****

The wings and burger he’d had threaten to crawl up his throat. Kai swallows as he hits send, and then quickly shoves his phone into his pocket again. When it keeps buzzing in complaint, he shoves down his _‘answer it, Kai, answer it, c’mon, answer it, Kai’_ too. 

Reeve’s asking him, “Should I drop you off at your house?” 

It feels like he’s taking a leap of faith when he returns, “I think I’m going over to Adam’s house- if that’s still okay?” 

Mira glomps him into a mighty hug the second he says Adam’s name, cheering all-the-while. When she pulls away, she hurriedly tells Reeve to make a pit-stop by her house, even though they haven’t even stopped by Vanessa’s yet. “We’ll do a movie night, like I said!” she declares, bouncing up and down in her seat. 

The smile Kai gives her might appear a big shaky, but if she notices it, she doesn’t comment on it. Adam claps a hand down onto Kai’s shoulder to let him know he approves- Kai thinks about the bathroom, hands only just touching, _I think I-_ before flashing him an award winning smile. 

Kai only hopes he’s managed to fight down his blush. It’s no secret that Adam’s a touchy person- Kai’s never minded it before. After the Hollow, once they all had their memories back, that touchiness had gone down a bit. Was it because Adam had remembered something about Kai? About how Kai was only supposed to act as Reeve’s replacement? 

If he _was_ only Reeve’s replacement, though, then why would Adam and Mira- and Reeve, and Vanessa- still hang out with him? 

Reeve pulls the car to a stop, much less violent before. Vanessa’s house looms before them- Reeve had parked in the driveway, despite the multitude of cars there. Vanessa makes no move to get out as she peers through the windshield. During the drive, her knees had been tucked up to her chest. Now, they’re splayed out over the dashboard, despite Reeve’s glare. 

When she finally _does_ open the car door, Mira shrieks, “Shotgun!”, and drowns out Vanessa’s, “Thank you for inviting me.” 

“Dammit,” curses Adam, playfully. “My legs are falling asleep back here.” 

Mira tells him to _suck it up, buttercup-_ popping both of her ‘p’s. She slides into the passenger seat, fixing the seat again to give herself more room. By extent, she takes some of Kai’s space, but that’s okay with him. He just scoots over, putting space between him and Adam. Immediately, he misses the warmth of Adam’s arm pressed against his. The furious buzz of his phone distracts him from the feeling as it attempts to beg Kai to look at his text messages.

Instead, Kai does the one thing he said he couldn’t possibly see himself doing. He turns off his notifications- but he can only bring himself to do it for his parents’ numbers, and no one else’s. 

It seems like today is chock full of many things that Kai didn’t think he’d ever do. 

Mira and Kai click their seatbelts into place as Reeve pulls off into the road. Mira starts up another conversation about school, intent to pull Kai into it this time. As they talk, Adam and Mira get back to texting each other. 

Horribly enough, Kai finds himself a little jealous. When he realizes it- realizes that _he_ wants to be the one texting Adam, rather than watching the two go back and forth- he feels his face go red again, this time in shame. 

“Aren’t you at least _somewhat_ excited to start school in Hollow Life? We don’t even know how it’s going to _go,_ or what it’s going to be _like!”_ Mira pauses, voice gaining excitement as she goes on. “There’s going to be so many _clubs_ to join, all of our other friends to talk to-” 

_“But,”_ Reeve points out, “they don’t even count your absences. We’ve been missing for weeks, and no one’s _said_ anything about it.”

Mira says it’s all the more reason to go. If Kai’s being honest, though, he doesn’t really see _why_ Mira thinks that school is so fun. He knows that Reeve and Adam both are excited to start up their seasons again, but Kai has no such feelings. He’s not on any sports teams and he’s not in any clubs.

He’s actually been _home schooled_ for over half his life- hence the lack of friends. Middle school was the first time he’d ever been to an actual school, and that’s when he’d met Miles. A year later, he’d started high school. He’d met Adam and Mira in his freshman year. Adam was in his Algebra II class, (since, somehow, Kai had been accelerated, and Adam was a grade older than Kai), and Mira had been in his Chemistry class.

That Kai would _never_ have thought he’d be going over to Adam’s house for a sleepover, even in a digital setting. _Hell,_ Kai almost would bet that real-life him still wouldn’t, either.

But, besides Kai’s new friends, he knew pretty much _no one_ at school. Most of his lunches were spent in an empty classroom, save for a teacher every once in a while. He used to plug in his headphones and blast his music until he feared he’d go deaf, or play a game until he heard the bell ring above him. In the hallways, kids would either laugh at him or flat out ignore him, as if he’d never even existed in the first place.

That was why he was so weirded out to find out that _Adam,_ of all people, had childhood bullies. While only Vanessa was the _very_ popular one, Adam and Reeve were held in high enough regard around the school. They were on everyone’s good side, even if Adam wasn’t the _best_ at math. By extension, Mira was too, because she was Adam’s best friend.

People change over time, Kai supposes. He’s changed too, after all.

Reeve pulls up to Mira’s house in no time flat, and Kai realizes that he hadn’t participated in the conversation again. Because both her dads’ car and her motorbike are parked in the driveway, Reeve pulls up close to the sidewalk to let her out. 

Kai has always liked Mira’s house. He’s always liked being invited to her dads’ Sunday barbecues, too. The first time that she’d extended the invitation to him- right after they decided to stay in Hollow Life- and she’d told him to bring Davis along, Kai had been afraid that he’d explode from how positively happy he was.

Mira climbs out of the car and Adam quickly scrambles over the center console to take shotgun. “You can have the backseat on the way to my house,” he calls. 

For a second, she just looks at him. Kai’s worried that she’s going to get mad, but that lasts for all of a second, because he knows it’s an irrational thought.

A smile breaks out over Mira’s face as she places her hands on her hips. “It’s a good thing that I’m not coming over tonight, then!” she chirps, brightly. Adam’s face falls in confusion and she laughs. “I’ll pop over tomorrow morning, though! Make sure your mom makes waffles!” 

Mira slams the car door, and as Adam shouts, _“Mira!”,_ through the open window, she only beams back at him, cheekily. 

“Have a good time!” 

Reeve pulls out, tutting to himself as he does. Adam just looks out through the window, watching as Mira grows smaller and smaller.

Now, Kai’s heart has done a _lot_ of things today. It’s thudded in fear, fluttered in euphoria, stilled in confusion- but _this_ time, it leaps right out his chest and into his mouth, threatening to slip right down his throat and _choke._ He can feel it pulsing, and he almost feels afraid that Adam and Reeve will hear how loud it dares to pound.

Being alone with Adam hasn’t ever really phased him. Kai remembers the time they’d searched for Mira at Hollow Studios- (and he remembers the time they thought she’d died, drowned at the ocean floor, _Mira’s_ gone, _Adam!)-_ after she’d ran off. He remembers Adam grabbing his hand, remembers it so clearly that it’s all he can think about sometimes. But, he also remembers Adam telling him about Reeve while travelling through that crumbling castle, about how Kai wasn’t anything more than a replacement for a friend long gone.

Since then, things have shifted dramatically. They’re okay- Adam and Reeve are on good terms, Reeve doesn’t _hate_ Kai, and Adam and Kai are _friends_ now. 

Still, Kai can’t help but notice that Adam looks a little upset by Mira’s disappearance. Did Mira only skip out because of Kai? Was she upset that he’d said yes, in the end? Mira and Adam are _far_ closer than Kai is with them, so was he threatening their friendship by being here? Or, maybe Adam didn’t want to be _alone_ with Kai after what happened in the bathroom-

Or, maybe, Kai’s overthinking all of this. 

“-fun,” finishes Reeve, as Kai tunes back in. He’s parking the car in Adam’s driveway. Kai realizes he’s had his gaze locked out the window this entire time, and he remembers how close Mira and Adam’s houses actually are.

As Adam unbuckles, Kai utters his thanks and pushes himself out of the car. He doesn’t have any clothes to change into, but he can _probably_ borrow some if the game’s programming allows for it. And, since Kai’s phone is the same model as Adam’s- surprisingly- he can probably borrow a charger, too. That way, if Davis texts, Kai can reply. 

The two of them walk to the front door. Adam unlocks the door; Kai waves at Reeve while he watches him drive off. The door’s pushed open and Adam gestures Kai to enter first. When he does, he takes a peek at the clock on the oven- the door leads right into their dining room/kitchen- and reads the time. It’s a little after 1:30, so Kai takes a moment to consider just _how_ they’ll pass the time, now that they’re not doing movie night. 

While Kai’s been to Mira’s house, the amount of times he’s been to Adam’s pales in comparison. It’s only Adam and his parents, so the house is smaller than Mira’s. They have an office, tucked out of the way, that they use as a guest bedroom as needed. Other than that, there’s only two bedrooms. The last time Kai was over, he and Mira had set up an old air mattress from Adam’s parent’s closet.

Is that how it’s going to be tonight? Is Kai going to have it to himself, this time? 

During the Hollow, the three of them had gotten used to sleeping close to each other. That’s why Adam always gets antsy when they’re apart for too long- that’s why, whenever they have sleepovers, they get the biggest, softest surface they can and curl up together. Adam _had_ joined them on the air mattress, that night. His twin bed couldn’t cut it. 

“My parents aren’t home yet,” Adam says, offhandedly. He places his keys on the counter as they clink together. “They might not be here until later tonight, but if they miss dinner, we can probably make something.” 

Adam’s awkwardness is back tenfold. He shifts his weight to his opposite foot- Kai wonders if he’s trying to figure out how to nicely tell Kai to get out of his house, now that Mira isn’t here. Maybe it’s another reason entirely- it’s _probably_ an entirely different reason, actually. If Adam really _didn’t_ want Kai around, he wouldn’t have followed him into the bathroom earlier. 

“Okay,” says Kai, just as awkwardly. “That sounds good.” 

For a moment, the two of them just stare at each other. Kai knows he’s not the one with something wrong- he just has to wait until Adam speaks up about his own troubles, or until Adam decides to take another crack at Kai’s. If he does, Kai will have to do his best to avoid talking about his. 

It’s _then_ that Kai remembers about his nightmare.

Maybe _that’s_ the problem! Adam might be off-kilter because of a nightmare that he can’t remember! All of Kai’s earlier guesses could _actually_ be right!

“Hey, Adam-” 

“So, uh, Kai-” 

Kai cracks his jaw shut as Adam does the same. The two of them get back to staring at each other all over again. Kai’s face threatens to break out into another blush. 

He’s always ran hot- it’s why he’s so prone to turning tomato-red. He has a feeling that his new-found fire powers aren’t helping much, and part of him fears getting a cold. If the game’s programmed to let them get fevers and the like, he’ll probably burn to a crisp. Adam used to run hot, too. Ever since he almost froze to death because of Kai, his hands are freezing to the touch.

“You go first,” Kai says, hopeful that Adam will finally say what he needs to say. 

Instead, Adam gestures towards the living room. “Do you want to play a video game for a bit?” he asks. Kai immediately says yes, even though he feels a little upset over the fact that Adam’s still not going to tell him. 

Adam leads the way, before continuing to ask Kai what _he_ was going to say.

“Nothing,” Kai says, as Adam boots up the TV and his gaming console. “It was nothing.” 

For the next few hours, they lose themselves in a plethora of first-person shooter games, scoring up points and trying to get ahead of the other. Eventually, they settle on playing Minecraft, choosing to create a whole new world and finish it before going to bed. Sometime past five o’clock, Kai makes his way down into the mines in hopes of finding some diamonds. Adam remains on the surface, gathering the needed materials to make books. After a bit, Adam’s phone buzzes. He looks at it, explaining that it’s a text from his mom.

“She ordered us some pizza, it’ll be here soon. They won’t be home until seven at the earliest, though.” 

_“Thank_ you, Adam’s mom,” Kai grins, making his character crouch so he won’t fall into the lava around him. 

Adam gets another text and sends a reply, not saying anything about it. Then, he moves his character to a tree, gathering up some more wood. He makes a crafting table and, on that, makes a new sword and an ax. With the ax, he collects extra wood, intent on using the wood for bookshelves. 

“Hey, Kai-” he says, once he’s back at base. “Do you remember what we were talking about earlier?” 

His character places down a bed. Down in the mines, Kai does the same thing, once he’s safe from harm.

“About going back to school?” asks Kai, quickly vanquishing a skeleton that had appeared out of nowhere. Under his breath, he utters, “God, I hate those things- no offense to Death or the other horsemen, though.” 

Adam doesn’t comment on his second statement as he shakes his head. “From the bathroom.” 

Oh.

He must be ready to talk. 

Even so, Adam doesn’t pull his gaze away from the game, so neither does Kai. He’ll listen- Adam must think that it’ll be easier to get off his chest if they’re ‘preoccupied’ with something else. That’s fine by Kai- they’d started this world with the idea of killing both the Ender Dragon _and_ the Wither, after all. 

The awkwardness from earlier is back again. It had lingered until their second game of Call of Duty, when Adam had sniped Kai’s character without hesitation in order to win the game. 

_Hanging out with Adam,_ Kai thinks, _has_ never _been this awkward._

“I remember,” Kai admits, carefully. “Do you want to talk about it?” 

As Adam clicks a few buttons on his controller, Kai briefly thinks about how funny it is that they’re playing a game inside of a game. Digital people playing as smaller digital people- It’s oddly hilarious- not that Kai’s ever going to say that out-loud to anyone any time soon.

Kai’s character stumbles upon emeralds. Adam says _nice_ before continuing on to say, “I do- I didn’t get to say what I wanted to say.” 

“Which was?” Kai prompts, like Adam had done for him. He squirms a little in his seat as he mines the ores before him, before moving on to build a path- whilst crouching- over another pit of lava. One quick dash and a spider death later, Kai comes across an enormous underground cavern, gaping wide and plenty deep enough to hit diamond level. As he works his way down, he mentally fist bumps, and listens as Adam sucks in a deep breath.

Adam’s character finds his way to the entrance of the cave Kai’s inside, ready to follow him down. “I-” 

His voice wavers. Adam’s voice _never_ wavers.

Kai stops moving his character long enough for Adam’s to catch up to him. In the real-digital world, he subtly looks over to Adam, watching his hazy stare bore into the TV. Waiting for Adam to speak- it feels like Kai’s standing on a cliff’s edge, seconds from teetering down and plummeting to his death. It feels like staring down the barrel of a gun. Adam’s finger is on the trigger. Depending on what he says, the bullet that fires will either be a blank, or it’ll be live ammo.

Kai’s not ready to figure out what kind of bullet it is, but that’s not up for him to decide.

Adam clicks on a lavafall with an empty bucket, jumping onto the obsidian floor below once it clears up. He puts the lava bucket into his inventory now that it’s full as Kai lands beside him. They both scan the walls of the ravine for any light blue specks. 

It’s when Kai’s digging around the diamonds he’d found that Adam speaks up again. As simply as one might comment on the weather outside, Adam fiddles with the right joystick and says, “I really like you, Kai.” 

_As a friend,_ Kai’s mind immediately says, in order to fill in the blanks. As many thoughts as that statement _settles,_ it only raises a million more- like a hydra will do once you sever it’s head from it’s long, winding neck. It’s still a plenty nice thing for Adam to say. At least Kai won’t have to question their friendship anymore, unless Adam has something else to add on. 

“Thanks,” Kai tells him, shooting Adam a smile. He hopes it doesn’t fall too flat.

But, it _must,_ because Adam only looks back at Adam in disbelief, controller stilling in his hand.

Kai lets his smile fall, brows creasing up. He’s not sure if it’s the smile or the reaction that he got wrong, and he’s got no idea how he’s supposed to correct it. 

He tries his best to get out _‘what?’_ before Adam cuts him off. A little flatly, Adam repeats, “You don’t get what I’m trying to say.”

Again, _no._ Kai doesn’t. He feels unbearably stupid for not being able to understand. He _knows_ he’s never been the smartest one in their little group, but he keeps missing Adam’s point. How in the world is he supposed to help him out if he’s going to keep _going_ like this? Just like back in the bathroom, Kai feels like crying. He hasn’t collected the diamonds on the game yet, he hasn’t helped Adam in Hollow Life, hasn’t-

“Listen,” says Adam, while he turns his whole body around in order to face Kai properly. “I didn’t want to make things weird between us, but Mira-” 

_I really like you, Kai, but this isn’t working out,_ he imagines Adam saying. 

That’s what he’s trying to say, isn’t it? He’s trying to let Kai know that Mira doesn’t want him around anymore, and by extent, neither does Adam.

Kai can’t stop the tears from prickling in his eyes. He does his best to hold them in, waiting until Adam says what he needs to say- _this isn’t working out, Kai, I’m sorry-_ before he goes and bawls like a little baby. He’s already _acting_ like one, honestly, and that fact only makes him want to cry harder. 

He’s risking so much to be here, and _this_ is how it’s going to go?

But- Adam’s stopped talking. He’s stopped talking and he’s staring at Kai like his heart is on the verge of breaking, and Kai can only think: _This is it, this is it, this is it._

He doesn’t _want_ this to be it.

Kai _likes_ hanging out with Adam and Mira. He even likes hanging out with _Reeve_ and _Vanessa,_ no matter how many memories it always dredges up. All of the sleepovers they’ve slept, the barbecues they’ve gone to, the lunches they’ve had- all of the bowling trips and the pool visits- Kai doesn’t want to _lose_ all of that. He wants to keep doing all of it, side by side with Adam. He _wants_ to keep playing Minecraft for hours on end, and keep watching movies, and _keep_ playing all of those stupid sports Adam and Reeve drag them into doing. 

It takes all of his willpower to swallow down his sob- takes years of practice to keep the tears at bay.

He thinks about his parents- _yelling, yelling, yelling-_ and thinks that he might not go home, once Adam kicks him out. Instead, he’ll buy his own plane ticket and follow Davis. Maybe he’ll even-

He doesn’t really get to think about that next maybe, because suddenly Adam’s leaning in. Kai’s world slows down. It keeps narrowing until there’s nothing left beside him and Adam, Adam’s phone lying screen up and opened to Mira’s contact, a thumbs up emoji standing out against the white background.

Mira’s telling Adam to go for it.

Adam’s _going for it._

Their lips meet. Puzzle pieces click into place. 

The only thought running through Kai’s mind is: _Adam’s kissing me. Adam’s kissing me. Adam’s kissing-_

And, _God,_ he tastes like burgers and fries, like sports tracks and homeruns, like shimmering stars and glittering golds as you gather around the campfire and open your arms towards the heavens.

 _This is it,_ Kai thinks. _This is it, this is it, this is it._

And- this _is_ it. 

It’s not the end of _anything-_ no. This is exactly what Kai has wanted ever since he realized he _liked_ Adam. This is what he’s wanted for longer than he can remember-

This is it.

This is it, and _that’s_ the doorbell in the background, sending Kai hurtling off of that cliff he’d imagined, stopping Adam before he can even get around to pulling the trigger against Kai’s temple. Adam pulls away, looking startled, before he sheepishly says, “That’s probably the pizza guy, huh?” 

He lets out a laugh that sounds like the cheering of a crowd in the stands, before he stands up and leaves Kai in the living room. Adam’s back a moment later, two pizza boxes stacked in his hands. He kicks their controllers over in order to set the boxes down, saying, “I hope you don’t mind cheese pizza.” He sits down himself, and the way he’s easily acting like nothing happened puts Kai off center. All he can do is stare at Adam as he moves about.

Once Adam has himself situated, he turns back to Kai. Even with the new smell of pizza and the sounds of the TV, Kai can only keep staring. 

Adam winces under his gaze. “Did I make things awkward?” 

Kai is impulsive. He’s impulsive before careful when he’s around Adam, so when his heart gives a mighty thump, it spurs him into action. He gets up onto his knees, never moving his eyes. “You didn’t make things _awkward,”_ he says, “but I’d like it if _you_ stopped making _yourself_ awkward- no matter how cute it is.” 

Then, Kai ducks down, and he places his lips right over Adam’s.

Burgers and fries. Long, sunny days. Old guitars and wooden logs.

_This is it, this is it, this is it._

There’s arms wrapping around his waist, pulling him close, now. His own hands find themselves a spot on the sides of Adam’s head, running through his hair to tug the two together. Everything they’ve been doing all day has been leading up to _this_ all along. And, no matter _what_ the consequences are, Kai would rather have _this_ than anything else, any day of the week.

Diners. Sun. Campfire smoke. 

Is this why Mira opted to go home, instead of coming along? Did she _know_ about all of this? Now that Kai really thinks about it- though, it’s hard to think about anything besides the feel of Adam’s mouth- _this_ is probably what they’ve been texting about all day.

She told him to go for it. He had when he’d told Kai, _I really like you._

Against Adam’s lips, he breathes out, “I really like you, too.” 

Adam smiles, the upturn of his lips making Kai’s follow along. While Adam says, “I’m glad you do,” Kai breathes the same air that he had. Kai can hardly believe this is even happening- but there’s no time for his mind to wander from their digital-reality when all he can keep thinking is: _This is it, this is it, this is it._

The burger-and-fries taste lingers when Adam pulls back, resting his forehead against Kai’s. Their noses are only centimetres apart. Each breath Adam releases washes over Kai’s cheeks, warming them up to a nice cotton-candy pink color. Adam’s hands snake around Kai’s waist a little more, tugging him into his lap.

God, this is so worth _everything_ else. 

Like this, the two of them stay. The pizza’s surely getting a little colder as time passes, but neither of them can bring themselves to care.

It’s only when Adam inches his eyes open that Kai does, too. “All of Mira’s poking and prodding- It was _so_ worth it.” 

A sick _‘shick!’_ sound draws their attention to their abandoned video game. Adam’s character- still holding their only diamond pickax, with really good enchantments like unbreaking, in his hand- jumps closer to the pit of lava beside him, a skeleton pelting him with arrows whilst his guard was down.

Adam gives out a yell, diving for his controller. He dumps Kai onto the ground, but Kai only lays there, peering at the ceiling. “And they say romance is dead,” he utters.

 _“I’m_ certainly dead,” Adam grumbles. He fiddles with the controls until he has the game saved and closed. There goes killing the Ender Dragon anytime soon. Before long, Kai hears one of the pizza boxes open. Then, Adam’s face- and a slice of pizza- appears in Kai’s line of view.

Ten minutes finds them curled up on the couch, pizza boxes in reach and _Mean Girls_ cued up. Kai can’t help but ask, “What now?”

They really like each other. They kissed twice. Now, they’re cuddling, stealing little pecks to the lips whenever they can. 

Nothing feels like it’s changed.

Kai only feels _lighter._

“Now we tell our friends,” Adam says, rubbing his hand over Kai’s shoulder. _“Now_ we let them know that we’re boyfriends.” 

_Boyfriends._

Kai likes that word.

He shifts, pressing his lips back against Adam’s. “Can we have popcorn first?” he asks, murmuring the words into Adam’s mouth. Even with the pizza dinner before them, Adam _still_ tastes like burgers and fries. 

“Only if you pop it,” Adam challenges. 

Yeah. _This_ is it.

**Author's Note:**

> okay!! once you're done reading this, you probably realize how many hcs i've put in here. i was filling in all of the blanks that we don't have from the show, since it's only in season 2 that we learn backstories from the characters! vanessa's not on the best terms with her parents, and i definitely think that both adam and reeve are big on sports. 
> 
> anyway, this fic was originally supposed to be centered around three things: kai's nightmare, kai's relationship with his parents, and texting. however, that's not how this went, was it
> 
> aksdgh anyway, hope u enjoyed,,,,, uhhhh,,,, yeah
> 
> check out my tumblr: [potato-reblob](https://potato-reblob.tumblr.com/)


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